Egyptian Pyramids, Camels, and Terrorism

Ever since I was a little boy learning about ancient pharaohs in my Social Studies class, I’ve become fascinated with somehow visiting Egypt one day. In fact, as far as my ill-informed 13-year old self knew at that point in time, the world was created by the Pharaohs and the first human they created was a chick named “Lucy.”

This fervor to reach the center of my so-called universe was further fueled after reading The Alchemist for possibly the 2nd time in my life when it actually mattered. I believe I read or rather Spark-noted it for the first time in high school for summer reading, but it was when I actually read it during a complex time in my adulthood that it truly made sense to me. In the book, the boy desperately seeks to reach the Egyptian Pyramids in search of his treasure or Personal Legend only to find out at the end that it was the journey that mattered.

So Egypt had always been on my mind but of course, the media had portrayed Egypt to be this so-called dangerous place to visit due to the uprising and violence in the recent decade. However, it was this same exact and incorrect representation of Africa that the media has wrongfully placed upon western minds that had troubled me before coming to Africa. Be careful of Ebola and Malaria! Be safe! But the funny thing is...I was thinking how stupid these comments and thoughts were while jammed in a minibus down the Zambian countryside while being offered bananas by the gregarious locals sitting beside me.

So as my days came to an end in Zanzibar, I booked a one-way ticket to Cairo.

I arrived in Cairo to throngs of hijabs and spoken Arabic surrounding my every corner, it was still a bit of a shocker to finally be in this so called danger zone. It was also Ramadan and my fat American stomach was upset at how every single shop was closed and the only lunch I was able to find on Day 1 was some biscuits. 

Cairo during Ramadan...no food...no drink...poor me WAHHH

Cairo during Ramadan...no food...no drink...poor me WAHHH

A few hours later in Cairo, I already yearned to leave. It was over a 100 degrees and with the entire country fasting, I had nothing to do in Cairo (I was also waiting for some Canadian friends to arrive to visit the Pyramids). And so I took an overnight bus across Southern Sinai into Dahab, one of the beach resorts on the Red Sea. And a magnificent next 10 days it would be. Snorkeling. Diving. Buffet breakfasts. Reaching the top of Mount Sinai. All for the cheapest prices you can find…just because there were no tourists around.

One afternoon after a session of snorkeling, I waddled and plopped my dripping body onto a sofa bed at Yalla Bar. I must’ve stood out as any Asian would in Egypt, as a worker came up to me to strike a conversation.

“Where you from? Japan? China?”

Today I felt like being Japanese so I yawned and replied, “Japan.”

“Japan! We like Japan here. Welcome, welcome!”

We proceeded to talk about his life and tourism in Dahab, which had been decimated by “America’s War” in the Middle East.

“You know why no tourists here? The American Government! They say bad things about countries behind their backs and spread lies.”

And so from that point on, I was definitely not American in Egypt. Besides, it was simply too much work and money for me to deny that I was Japanese or Chinese.

Dahab...near deserted beach resort in the desert

Dahab...near deserted beach resort in the desert

Dahab was a relaxing, fun-filled, and much needed vacation as I was still recovering from Kilimanjaro. But it was time to leave back to Cairo to tour the long-awaited Pyramids. I was more than thrilled to discover my Personal Legend…

Fast-forward a few days later and a few hundred dollars poorer, and I am on the hump of a camel marveling at the Pyramids of Giza on my right hand side. As we approached our first stopping point to take jumping pictures, I carefully dismounted myself, as my squished balls slowly began re-inflating themselves. A few squats here, a few stretches there, and I was finally able to stare down the Pyramids with a deep breath of the sweltering Egyptian air and secretly proclaim…I am here!

Holy shit...it is completely empty. Those were my initial and recurring thoughts, as I stared wearily into the Egyptian desert. We were then informed that in its heyday, the Pyramids received over 10,000 people in a single day. I counted no more than 40 unique tourists that morning. But hey, I wasn’t complaining because we literally had the Pyramids to ourselves. And that was the recurring theme wherever I went in Egypt…the vacant temples and monuments of Luxor and Aswan albeit filled with those oh-so-annoying touts vying for your business. No damnit, I do not want to see a secret room in the temple nor do I want your expensive papyrus paper.

Italian Embassy Car Bombing

While much oohing and aahing can be said about ancient Egypt, there are still many problems plaguing the country. Unemployment. Politics. Your terrorist threats and attacks here and there. While the entire country of Egypt lives on as a whole, these are some things one should still take into account when visiting (which you should!). I never expected to be so close to one of those terrorist attacks you always hear about in the news, but I woke up one morning to my building shaking and windows rattling only to find it later it was a fatal car bombing at the Italian Embasy, which was only 10 minutes away from where I was staying. 

Oh Egypt...I love and hate you

Oh Egypt...I love and hate you

And as my time in Egypt came to an end, I couldn’t help but question myself whether this trip up North was really what I wanted it to be. The magic of being alone with the Pyramids. The ridiculously cheap vacation in Dahab. In contrast...the endless police checkpoints all over Egypt. The infinite number of touts and tour guides vying for your business. The not-so-far-away car bomb. But is it wrong for me to admit that I thought those police checkpoints were actually really interesting? And that I was bit more amped to check out the sight of the bombing than seeing the Pyramids? I did not retrieve any treasure or discover my Personal Legend, but it was quite an experience. An experience that educated me on a personal level about how life goes down in Egypt. 

My Kilimanjaro Birthday

Don't be fooled by my smile...I held it for 10 seconds before it reverted back to a painful frown  

Don't be fooled by my smile...I held it for 10 seconds before it reverted back to a painful frown  

The winds whistled to the east, the slow sounds of boots and rocks grazing murmured through the surroundings, our headlights illuminated the only source of light, and I really needed to take a shit.

I had decided it’d be a brilliant idea to celebrate my 27th birthday on Mount Kilimanjaro but luckily for me, I caught a cold on my actual birthday. Let’s just say I spent it miserably tucked inside my sleeping bag for a good chunk of the day while depleting half of the group’s toilet paper supply. I foolishly made the mistake of thinking I was Chinese Superman by hiking with only a T-shirt on since the “sun was out” and was paying the price on Summit night.

It's not that warm at 10,000+ feet...my body is probably getting sick at this point

But let me backtrack a few days before I was overly constipated. Kilimanjaro had always been on my radar, but I actually didn’t confirm it until a few weeks before the climb. Due to my constraining budget and wallet-slashing expense of Kilimanjaro, I luckily found a company to work with – in exchange for some “high-quality pictures,” I’d pay a super discounted fee to climb the mountain. I was overly excited and tried to proclaim the great news to my mother on WhatsApp to later see her enthusiastic response, “Be safe.”

With my mother’s full-on support, I was ready to own the mountain. Weeks prior to the climb, my training regiment consisted of long bus rides through South Africa mixed with cheap local beer and jogging a few times a week. There were no climbs to acclimate to the altitude, but I did a few hikes prior and felt like I was ready…I mean I met some of the people traveling who did Kilimanjaro and if they could do it, I could definitely do it. However, I did not have the sufficient equipment to climb the mountain. The next part of the story is where I get played and cheated…

My host’s flat-mate in Arusha assured me he’d get me the proper equipment before my climb, and I figured the prices he’d charge me would be discounted. However, on the day of the climb, we went to a local equipment garage in the center of town, and I learned shitty gloves were $21, a damn poncho was $21, and a cheap jacket was $35. I thought I needed hiking boots until I found out they were $50 to rent. I will let my feet freeze and suffer from hypothermia before I rent hiking boots for $50. WTF! I was in shock before the climb even started because I ended up forking over $77 to rent 3 pieces of equipment (of which were totally necessary). When the guides and porters found out how much I paid, I was the laughingstock of the entire bus.

Aside from getting ripped of, climb itself is actually relatively easy minus summit night if you are pretty fit. You venture through different climates ranging from the jungle up to glaciers, and it’s quite marvelous on a nice day. Many articles and pictures of Kilimanjaro can be found online but to friends who are thinking of climbing, these are some tips that I remember:

  • If you rent, don’t rent from a local garage near the Clock Tower in Arusha. Bring your own gear if you can because the super-duper porters will carry most things for you. Otherwise, a more reasonable price for gloves is $5 - $10
  • Bring wet wipes if you can because you will smell like ass with no shower for 7 days. But more importantly, you want to keep your ass clean to prevent ass chafing between the dirt and your underwear...
  • Bring a lot of snacks…if you can’t hold them, your super-duper porters can. While it depends from company to company, we didn’t get a full-on meal before summit day…just tea and biscuits, and I was practically begging for food on summit night
  • Bring iodine tablets to clean the water (depends from company to company but our water for the day came from the stream)
  • Bring enough clothes which includes 2 layers of pants, many upper layers, and try to bring hiking boots with several layers of socks. A face mask would’ve also been nice. I cheaply decided to use my trail runners with 4 pairs of socks, and my guide had to massage my frozen feet at the very top
  • Remember to thank your guides, your cooks, and your porters – without them, you most likely will never make it to the top

Peace out, Kili!

Kilimanjaro is one of those hikes where you only do once in your lifetime. One because it’s kind of hellish and two (most importantly), it may deplete your budget. My guide asked me if I would do it again if he offered, and I said hell no. And while I spent my birthday lying tight in a sleeping bag some 13,000 feet above sea level coughing and sneezing, reaching the top is a memory I’ll never forget. 

    Walking with Lions in Zambia

    Many of us grew up with Lion King and became infatuated with the kingdom of lions. In fact, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, there was a point in my childhood when I wanted to become a lion – king of the jungle. It was only later when I found out that I couldn’t become a lion and watched the Discovery Channel to discover they weren’t the nicest cats around.

    But when I found out I had the chance to walk and interact one-on-one with real, non-drugged lions in Zambia (and because a friend had done it and loved it), I knew it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. And coming from a guy who used to be afraid of normal dogs and cats…this would be a big step up for my ego.

    Upon arrival early morning, growling snarls of hunger could be heard echoing into the parking lot – the lions were up and hungry. However, we were assured that these lions would be fed a full meal before our meet & greet, which would prevent them from potentially eating us for breakfast. Even though they were used to being around humans, one must still be very cautious when interacting with lions.

    After several briefings on safety of which I totally blanked out on due to the fact of me thinking of all the lion attacks I’ve seen on YouTube, we then ventured inside the park. We were given a stick to guard ourselves in case the lion became too aggressive, which I lost within 10 minutes of seeing the beautiful lion and lioness due to my careless and inattentive nature.

    At first glance, it seemed a bit unreal as we met the lions, sort of like when you meet the parents for the first time, awkwardness filled with a lot of analytical stares. Then as the canines started coming out, things got real and my adrenaline started pumping. And when the adrenaline starts pumping, fear begins to subside as thrill and ecstasy take over. To think I used to be afraid of black cats, I was now stroking the lion’s mane and prancing around trying to get the perfect shot. And in a flash, the guide handed me the lion’s tale and the next thing I knew, I was walking a lion by his tale. To be honest, I’ve never even walked a dog in my life. Only in Africa can you get up close and personal with a free roaming, non-drugged king of the jungle.

    At the end of the day, Simba is merely a cartoon figure, and we cannot go around petting every lion we see. However, snuggling with lions has changed my perception once again of these kings and queens of the jungle – they aren’t just carnivorous eating machines but big, beautiful cats. 


    Budget Travel Fashion

    My makeshift Turban comes in handy to protect my head and neck when I don't have my hat

    My makeshift Turban comes in handy to protect my head and neck when I don't have my hat

    There comes a time when I know I need to change underwear…when I can literally smell myself. Just kidding…but not really.

    I remember when I brought two large suitcases to China when I studied abroad in college...basically my mother packed my bags (and if you know Asian mothers, you must prepare for every scenario). Upon departure from China, I had suitcases full of damn moon cakes (that were later confiscated) and cheap Chinese souvenirs I would never use, and my check-in suitcase was over the limit. 

    Slowly through the years, I’ve learned to take less and less on the road. And I'm writing this to remind myself that when I return home, I need to simplify my wardrobe. When you can get super deals at Ross and Nordstrom Rack, my Asian side cannot resist but to buy, buy buy. Where as, I've been wearing pretty much the same outfit for the past several weeks. However, I don’t look homeless on the road...in fact, a 6’2 half-naked German guy actually complimented me on my dress style. I had no comment.

    When I discovered Uniqlo (Japanese clothing company) some 5 years ago, I never turned back. They produce high-quality, inexpensive, fitted clothes for the Asian frame. This is basically my daily wardrobe:

    • Uniqlo AIRism T-shirt (2)
    • Uniqlo HEATTEACH Long-Sleeve (2)
    • 3 pairs of "odorless" underwear (Ex-Officio & Uniqlo)
    • Uniqlo Dri-Fit Pants
    • Columbia Zip-off Hiking Pants
    • 3 pairs of socks
    • North Face Rain Jacket
    • Uniqlo Down Jacket

    Simple, yet stylish (according to half-naked German dudes). I kind of lost a shirt or two along the way due to my natural carelessness, but you learn to deal with it for the better. I do also have Nike running shorts, a beanie, a hat, and sandals I wear on occasions. But if you remember your algebra, I have around 24 different outfits I can wear (even more if I grow out my Goatee, combine my glasses, etc.)...

    (4 Shirts) x (3 Pants including zip-off pants) x (2 shoes) = 24 Outfits

    That may look like a bum’s wardrobe but at $20 per pair of underwear, it’s advertised to sustain days of sweat and odor before it begins to get “dirty,” and it’s true. Here is a smell test I conduct on a daily basis to see if I need to change:

    • Stage 1 - New or Semi-new (No Change)
    • Stage 2 - Smellin' Like Something (No Change or Change for Special Occassion)
    • Stage 3 - Smellin' Like Ass (Change)

    It’s not to say I smell like ass every day, but I make sure I don’t smell like ass for the next day. And I do laundry maybe once or twice a week based on the Jackie Chan’s Guide to Laundry (as told on the Ellen Show):

               This may look like me but is not me.

               This may look like me but is not me.

    Never take the underwear or socks to the laundry...they charge you $20, you can buy another one! I just bring 2 underwear, day and night...when you taking the shower...so easy!
    — Jackie Chan (on the Ellen Show)

    So a la Jackie, not only do I save money on laundry and save water but also assure myself a clean set of undergarments for the week. It’s a simple routine that has become part of my life now – less is more. No time is lost trying to decide the perfect outfit because nobody cares how you look and therefore, more time is allocated for the greater pleasures in life.