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Home again

It feels good to be home again. To be in my own bed. The fresh scent of ocean breeze that smells like nostalgia. And the space. THE SPACE.

It feels good to have space again. Yes—while there are many differences between Europe and the US—space is a huge difference. Unless you’re in New York city, space is a luxury to Americans that most people don’t appreciate until they leave.

In Amsterdam, I felt trapped. Especially with COVID. But even before COVID, I still felt trapped. There’s only so far you can go with a bike…but driving in your own car truly feels like “getting away.”

I went on a hike the other day with Diana to the Redwoods and besides the traffic, it was a therapeutic escape. While you can go hiking in the Netherlands, it’s just not the same.

While I am home again, it is not the same home of the past. As friends drift towards their own lives—family lives—and as my parents get older, I can’t help but think, “Where is home?”

Home feels like the limbo. A tug of war between the US, Europe, and Asia. The host of the party who hops around from group to group to make sure everyone is doing OK yet never actually becomes part of any group. Home feels here yet so far away…